I’ve been doing a lot of coaching with private clients lately and I’m struck by how it’s always about the truth. Always.
No matter what the topic is for the session — romantic love, dream career, conflict at work, upset within the family — at the core of every person is his or her truth. But it’s that truth that is often buried under layers of “but I should” and “couldn’t possibly” and “what would others think.”
In essence, that is what coaching is about. The coach creates a safe space that allows the client to see and speak the truth. And in every session I have ever coached, when we get to that moment where the person says the truth, there is a profound shift.
The body visibly relaxes, there is a deep exhale, and often tears of the good kind. The kind where it just feels so good to speak the truth. The truth that has been bottled up for days, months, or even years.
And what’s so amazing is that when we can speak our truth, even for a moment, something shifts in how we perceive things. That even if we have been denying our truth out of fear, or loyalty, or love, we can suddenly see more possibilities than before.
There is this opening where truth shines a light and we realize how much our truth matters. And even better, that our truth can be a place of authentic connection with another, rather than a false choice between who or what is more important.
What I have learned from being a coach is that us humans can’t really be healthy and whole if we are not in our truth. Sure, we can bury it but it doesn’t just go away and lie dormant. It keeps trying to be heard.
It’s that persistent thought or feeling that won’t go away. Or that repeating lesson that keeps showing up in a new setting. Or a physical injury or illness that doesn’t respond to traditional remedies.
It is my belief that most anxiety and depression is really suppressed truth and many addictive behaviors are how we try to keep our truth quiet.
Our truth must come out and eventually it always does. But denied truth often comes out in messy ways.
That’s another reason I love coaching so much. When people create the time and space to speak and honor their own truth, they are able to design a process that is much more graceful and loving. They move forward in a grounded and empowered way, which ultimately leads to better connections with others.
So I encourage you to speak your truth. It doesn’t matter how you get to it but it’s vitally important that you speak it. What is your truth around your relationships? Your health? Your career? What is trying to come to the surface?
Journaling is a wonderful tool for truth telling. It’s private, confidential and free. It can be a very powerful form of truth telling. As can prayer — whomever you pray too, there is power in speaking your truth to that Being.
But truth is most powerful when we can tell another human being. That is why so many religions have a practice related to confession — there is power in having another human hold loving witness to your truth. Certain friends and family may be able to play that role in your life as well. And of course, coaches and therapists are available and are trained to create a space that makes it easier for you to speak your truth.
It doesn’t really matter how you get there. Just do — speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.